Today I felt like running away from my office, from this city.
One year ago…
It is a daily struggle to commit to your passions and interests beyond your day job. But when your day job does not motivate you to wake up in the morning – only to enjoy the crisp morning air with the sun rising – you are draining your precious energy on it. This is my current life situation. I am demotivated, and I want a change.
But I am not taking any step towards the change. My brain is in a constant zone of procrastination, as it tells me to leave things until tomorrow or the next week. I have wasted my year and the time thinking how will I do anything. But my problem is that I see the end, but I fail to vision the journey. I fail to create a map towards my end goal. This makes me horrible at planning things for myself.
I have taken the support of small group of planners who push each other to achieve your goals, to strive for what you wish to do. It got me hyped up in the beginning, but I am stuck in the same place for more than a year.
This blog has been in the drafts over a year, collecting dust. My consciousness only reminds me about the existence of this blog when I’m feeling low, but I still don’t do anything about it.
I wish to write. Really, I do. I want to journal, make art, and do calligraphy. To just…create.
I am so done. I already have patience. All I need is faith, prayers (maybe a miracle) and the highest faith in Allah.